Football Funnies

Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by committee meetings.

***

The NFL, like life, is full of idiots.

***

I've found that prayers work best when you have big players.

***

If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.

***

The pride and presence of a professional football team is far more important than 30 libraries.

***

If there's a pileup, they'll have to give some of the players artificial insemination. (announcing for the AFL all-star game on a flooded field)

***

Football is a game for trained apes. That, in fact, is what most of the players are--retarded gorillas wearing helmets and uniforms. The only thing more debased is the surrounding mob of drunken monkeys howling the gorillas on.

***